stranded on this island

Rage

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 00:53:19 GMT

i fuckin hate everyone here.

i just wanted to tell you in my own damn words
that i fuckin hate you.. and i hope it hurts.
maybe it will kill you inside, like each day does me
or you'll feel all the suffering and finally see

im not fuckin happy here, i dont want to fuckin stay
theres too much going on, i wont last another day
if you even cared.. you would of sent me back home but you worry about money, and being alone

so when im lying on the road, bleeding
dont take anything misleading..
its all your fault, you caused this
im done putting up with all the shit.

disasterr

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 05:01:13 GMT

i hate the way they spit out their words
they dont even realize each one hurts
like a knife to the back, a silent attack
or a bat to the face, left to feel like a disgrace

maybe when the rain falls again
everyone will understand
what its like to be
under pressure, like me
no shooting star will save us now
its like time has stopped somehow
but if the rain falls
you'll hear a voice call
and you will understand

in the distance you might hear
all sounds have disappeared
no voices in the air
that used to be there

maybe when the rain falls again
everyone will understand
what its like to be me
under pressure, like me
no shooting star will save us now
its like time has stopped somehow
but if the rain falls
you'll hear a voice call
and you will understand

in the shadows there's a scream
you almost wish it was justa dream
no nightmares, not a fight
not bloody red, but black and white

but, maybe when the rain falls
everyone will understand..
---maybe, but no one understands
they wont know what its like to be
under pressure, like me
shooting stars cant save me now
time wont just stop somehow
so, if the rain falls
listen for the voice to call
and try to understand...

selfcontrol

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 02:28:31 GMT

can anyone tell me what im talking about in this?
because i have no idea,
i was just rambling on. it confuses me.

when the world takes you down
dont let it spin you around
or shove you flat on the ground

no, you must control yourself
get ahold of yourself
you can do it, no one else

even in your darkest hour
you must maintain power
when the lights are out
just know what its all about
dont let them trick you to
do anything you wouldnt do
and remember, breath
cuz air is all that you need

your either out or in
dont let them win
dont hurt yourself again

let it all come to you
thats all you really can do
put your faith in it too

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 02:10:18 GMT

im really stressed out right now..

the pressure is making me weak
i wanna be beautiful, thin, and sleek
someone people admire and adore
to see me walk down the street and
not ignore me at all.
to have someone stare
because they like what they see
not look away
because they pity me
to be the girl of everyone's dreams
no one can calm my screams
im doomed forever
stuck in the ugliest weather
its cloudy and grey
with no colors astray
my world is lifeless without his touch
oh, how i owe him - hes saved me soo much
many times, now and again
even when i want to be dead
suffering through all these thoughts
i have so many flaws
will i ever be good enough?
pretend happiness is too tough
to keep it up anymore.

what now?

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 00:53:31 GMT

what if I died tonight.
would you notice my teary eyes?
would you even say goodbye?

tell me how you feel right now.
does the thought of me make you frown?
will we ever be the same?
way before the days i fucked up..
before i came here and got stuck.
oh its messed me up so bad.
i feel like im going mad, insane.
its like theres no way to cover this pain.
i make mistakes around every corner.
im a soldier, ill take any order.

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 01:25:43 GMT

i need help.
if only you knew half of what i go thru each day.
if only you could understand how i feel, this way.
in so much pain, i cant complain..
i have to take this, make this into strength.
its time to face the facts.. im fat.
i need to lose what i have, before I
bring things in that will only make it worse.
im just cursed with this ugly, this blubber.
if only i could skip meals, feel hunger.
it makes me sick, i must get rid of it.
just make me thin, please.
i cant take another tease, another look
at all the small, slim girls who took
the crown, who caught his eye.
who all can say they're prettier than the sky.

OoLaLa

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 02:08:46 GMT

i havnt had the time to write anything yet..
so heres something from May 20^th ..
its one of my faves that ive wrote so far this year.

if you were to pass me down the street
you wouldnt recognize me
wouldnt take a second glimpse
to remember these lips you've kissed

just walk on by without a sound
dont even notice my lonely frown
but im stronger than you think
i can handle this on my own
ill stay up late and sleep all alone

and maybe..
this is how life should be
you with her
and then, just me

oh, here we go again
i kept on thinkin'
we'd be something
alittle more than just friends
alittle less than the end
i guess you had it all planned
but i still wish we were somethin'
yea, yea

maybe i miss you
yet i can take the pain
since i've got nothing else to do
but play your little love games

and maybe..
this is how life should be
you with here
and then, just me

so if you pass me down the road
i hope you know, that i know
your still thinking of me..
and when you
wrap your arms around her
let your, love surround her
but your still thinking of me..
your still thinking of me!

and maybe...

Killer

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 00:58:08 GMT

Oh gosh. today was totally cool.
compared to what my days have been like lately.. but im not sure why.
i mean, i went to drivers ed.. i had to drive today..
and i didnt lose any points! Eric lost 20.
so mayb i feel good for doing better than mr. perfect.
blahh. but thts kinda pathetic to say. i hate eric tho.
i love kyle!
but thts all i have to say right now..
[ E D ii T ]
heres what i ~~wrote~~ today.

i may never be someone to you.
but you will always be in my life.
and we may never take it to another step.
but someday you'll realize..
-
i coulda been that one girl in your life.
i coulda set your heart on fire.
i coulda shown you what its like..
to have all that you desired.
-
but you had to push me away.
always said there'd be another day.
i tried so hard to get to you.
well, maybe its too good to be true.

i cant go through with this.
you've got something in you, its
driving me crazy, driving me crazy...
i just wanted you to feel something for me.
-
i coulda been that one girl in your life.
i coulda set your heart on fire.
i coulda shown you what its like..
to have all that you desired.
-
and i guess its to late,
to be telling you how i feel.
all i've ever wanted
was for my dreams to be real.

your just
driving me crazy, driving me crazy..
i cant go through with this.

your just
driving me crazy, driving me crazy..
you've got something in you, its

driving me crazy, driving me crazy...
i just wanted you to feel something for me.
-
i coulda been that one girl in your life.
i coulda set your heart on fire.
i coulda shown you what its like..
to have all that you desired.
-
is that so hard for you to do?
is it too much to ask of you?
i might as well give up because
my heart has had enough...

..its finished .
=]

So Done

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 04:46:57 GMT

so, i wrote this after i found out what kyle did, and yea..

so if what you said is so true..
then why am i still talking to you?
why do i still feel the same love?
i guess you know you fucked up.
and i hope you know its not gonna be easy,
dont just think you can turn around and please me.
but what the hell were you thinking then?
so much for you being just friends.
you dont know how close i am to saying the end.
so close to being done and over with.
but im pretty sure we can handle this.
-
its gonna take time.
i know we'll turn out fine.
im yours and your mine.
lets get this off our minds.
-
weve both done things we regret,.
i know we can just forget it.
if you love me like you say,
you'll put mine in the past.
and i know i care about you,
and i want this to last.
after all we've been through,
and how long weve been together.
why give up now,
we both promised forever.
so lets not ruin it now,
keep it going somehow.
cuz im coming back,
no matter what it takes.
who really cares,
if my heart breaks.

i dont think its very good tho..but i put my whole heart into it.

Sweet 16?

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 22:15:31 GMT

well, my [ sweet 16 ] fuckin sucked.
i was miserable all day ; it had to be that day people told me all the bad shit.
like my parents finally telling me that i wasnt visiting akron on the 10^th.
because i guess theres no real "reason" to go visit
the people that i love and miss so much.
and then, they totally dis my idea of me moving back,
or driving out there on my own. that seriously pissed me off,
saying that my friends should come out to see me,
well if i cant drive out there..
how would they be able to drive out here. stupid.
then my "friend" didnt tell me something she totally should of,
instead she acted like she didnt even know
and was all ~~cheerful~~ and shit.
not to mention, the one person i love [ kyle ] the most
goes out @430am to "hang out" with HER.
then "stuff happened" that he totally regrets.
yea, well, even i saw that coming..
what does he think im fuckin stupid? whatever..
oh, and i still havnt gotten my digi C.
ill keep you updated on that.